Viva Las Vegas

Okay so last post I think I said a whole bunch of stuff that has now changed. I moved back into the house. We set a date; T minus 2 months and counting. Sept. 2nd in Las Vegas. Booked the chapel, got the tickets and hotel. Still lots of preparations. We decided to have all the parties occur before the wedding instead of after. Not sure why but we are. Looking at dresses this weekend. Death's Door would be proud of me. I'm planning on wearing a red dress. Hope you are looking down at me on my special day and saying "Damn girl, you look fine!". The groom is wearing a nice 4 button suit with vest and a fedora. If you've never been to The Missing Piece hat store in Westport you should check it out. Dope ass hats abound! Well, that's all for now. Everyone have a safe and bitchin' 4th of July. Celebrate our independence and blow some shit up! Remember, I'm in the northeast so you know they'll be doing up right here. Warzone baby!

You might think I'm crazy

So obviously things have been crazy for me. Me and the b/f broke up. I moved out. Things have taken a turn for the better. A few weeks ago the b/f and I got back together. Nightmare called it. The b/f would come around. He did. Not only are we back together, we are getting married. It won't be for a year or so. I decided to stay in my apt. until the lease is up. I think it will do us good to go back to the way it was 4 years ago. Makes it feel new again. Not seeing eachother every day. We get to do our own things if we want. I'm really excited about this new chapter in our lives. I think we are gonna do a Vegas wedding then a huge party here. His best friend, a body jeweler, is making my engagement and our wedding rings. That's pretty special. I haven't felt this light hearted in sometime. Feels good. I know I said that now I'm in my own place I would update more often. Here's hoping I do. I'm in a better spot now so maybe I will grace my small but important readership a story with a more happy ending. It's off to a good start.

i'm moving

i'm moving out of the house this weekend. found a really large 1 bedroom for cheap. landlord is super nice and i met my neighbor. she has a 4 year old daughter that i will definitely get along with. she has sidewalk chalk. this has to be the most bittersweet situation i have found myself in. on one hand, i am excited about the prospect of living as a single woman again. on the other hand, the finality of moving out is pretty depressing. i've lived with him for nearly 4 years. hell, i've lived with 4 guys for nearly that long. i'm used to having that security. now, i will be on my own. i look forward to arranging my new space and populating the different rooms with old crap i've had for 10 years and getting new stuff as well. if you need cheap rugs, rugsusa.com has some hella cheap clearance stuff. i got 5'X 7' for 80 smackers, and free shipping to boot. well, wish me luck and maybe when i get all situated we can have a blogger meetup at my place.

take care and tell your mom you love her.

lots of support

thanks for the support bloggersphere. i know that i am a strong chica and will survive this, it's always nice to have some reasurrance. biggest problem now is finding a good place to live. i need a small space to nest in and it's proving difficult. i want to be downtown, rivermarket or the crossroads since i like a short commute between two jobs. budgeting my money has been fairly easy but i don't want to get in over my head. why do 500 square foot studios cost so damn much in this city? ridiculous i tell ya. if any of you have the low down on good studio's or studio lofts in the area, let me know. i promise if you lead me to a gem, i'll buy you a drink! or a cheese flight from my favorite second job, jp winebar. you guys are terrific!

finally updating

so, here's the low down. my boyfriend dumped me this weekend. it sounds worse than it actually is. don't get me wrong, this is fucking terrible and it's not what i want. i love the guy. and he loves me. he just doesn't want to continue our "long term" relationship. the quoted part is apparently what he is afraid of. don't know why.

i mean that tough shit that i was dealing with so many months ago was me consenting to him seeing some other chick. i felt threatened by it and he assured me that i was still #1 and nothing was going to change. so i was okay with it because for a few months, nothing did change. in fact the sex was hotter and more frequent and the time we spent together was great. but he fell in love with her and and ended it with her. then said he had second thoughts about our relationship. i stayed with my dad for a bit so he could sort some things out.

i come back and realize that it wasn't going to work out no matter how hard i tried. i could tell that it was going to end i just had to hear it from him. so now i'm going to move out. i hope we can still maintain some sort of relationship, be it platonic or fuck buddy. this is so goddamn hard. usually when you break up, one person doesn't love the other person anymore. but this is different. i haven't done a single fucking thing wrong. i have been the best fucking girl in the history of relationships. supportive emotionally, physically and financially and this is where selflessness gets you.

is nothing sacred?

tough stuff

hi all, i have been meaning to update for a few months now but i have been busy with life and work. going through some pretty tough personal stuff right now and it's been really hard. i'm sure i'll make it through and then all will be well. work still sucks but i did just get approved for medication assistance through a foundation. basically they reimburse me for my out of pocket expenses. frankly that's the only good news i've had in 3 months. i plan on spending more time out of this house and with my friends so please inform me of blogger meets or anything i might enjoy. i hope everyone is having a great 2008. it's been a rocky start for me but when your at the bottom the only way to go is up. be good people and tell your family and friends you love them.

hey everyone

hi bloggers, how you doing? good i hope. so, i'm switching up evening jobs soon. i'll be at JP's Winebar bussing. free up my week more so i can start painting again and keep this house clean. things are good. hope you are too. this is just a quick update, i have to do laundry and eat and stuff. be cool.